Sober and sheltered.

The closest thing to this pandemic weirdness I’ve experienced is my early sobriety.

More than 30 years ago when I decided to step away from alcohol and drugs, I didn’t think about my abstinence as something that was moving forward or something that increased in value as time went on.  I don’t think I ever formed much in the way of a happy thought along the lines of: “In two weeks I’ll have been clean for six months!”

Yet I could imagine that someday I would look back at success. I did have a vision of the sober, successful me looking in the rear-view mirror at decades spent free from the drugs that would otherwise have killed me. 

I feel the same way about life under the dark clouds of COVID-19.  I am not counting the days spent sheltering at home, but I am imagining how it will feel to look back over these days and be grateful that I made it.

I am much better at reflecting on those things that I survive, rather than dreaming of how I will succeed. I suspect a lot of other recovering folks share this trait.

–Kimberly Marlowe Hartnett

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